Finally able to post on here - several pages at once. Will update in about a week.
As you can tell from the title, I did make it home eventually. Very long day. Although the flight wasn't until 12.30, I was up at 6 because they had told me to be at the airport at 8. No available seats on the metro - do people live on the metro? You have to be assertive here when leaving a train, due to people surging forward in this ill-mannered environment. I could never live here what with all the cultural differences especially rudeness, population density and flat-chested women. Hadn't actually been given a new ticket and worried I didn't really have a seat. Although I didn't have to pay for a new flight I did have to pay 1000 Yuan to immigration. Led into a small room by a police woman, where I had to wait for ages (good thing I arrived so early) and sign lots of forms in Mandarin. Breakfast in the airport cost £9! Made sure to queue up in plenty of time at departures.
Old Chinese man next to me fidgeted like crazy - digging elbows, commandeering the arm rest, farts, musical yawns and lip smacks after every mouthful. If squeamish, ignore this next sentence. The toilet floor became wetter and wetter, but forgot to put my shoes on each time I used it. I had a window seat not over the wing! Not much to see out the window - thousands of miles of brown nothingness, like this part of the world hasn't been finished. Watched The Reader, Trust and The Perfect Host, all of which were very good. Having seen virtually no wildlife in China, fascinated by a bird of prey hovering over a tiny strip of green between tarmac at Heathrow. Exiting a tube in London (transferring between terminals) a woman on the platform barred my exit. She said "sorry" and moved aside. Back to pleasantries! Couldn't wangle a transfer to Glasgow and had to pay through the nose (£200). Lovely Laura greeted me at Glasgow airport and whisked me and my trusty steed back to my flat. Finally crashed at 1am having been up for 26 hours.